so my stepmom is opening this yoga studio, as some of you may know, and one of her yoga friends from yoga school is staying at our house to help her open the studio. his name is Mark, he’s British but grew up a little bit in Australia and New Zealand (you can tell by some of the things he says). anyway, he’s really freaking cool and he’s here for 3 weeks!
i’ve been put into a cycle through working full time all summer. i feel like thats the reason that i can’t remember what happened after work this week. i need to start paying attention or i’ll become another lost soul dredging through life without meaning or purpose. okay that was a little harsh, but I could stand to pay attention or life will pass me by.
i began pulling out clothes and stuff to start the packing process. i can’t believe its almost here. in exactly three weeks i will be settling into my new home. part of me is sad to be so away from everyone and everything, but part of me can’t wait to get there and start the new chapter in my life. NMU here i come.
I’m finishing all the freaking Harry Potter books. I will not see one more movie, or look at anything Disney world/Hogwarts related until this task is done. My hopes are that i’ll get so hooked again that the reading won’t take too long… Harry Potter gods, SMITE ME IF I SLACK OFF.
Rick: Pig Pen, when I want advice about a good Planet of the Apes film or maybe how to get the resin out of my bong I’ll come to you ok? But I am not gonna take romantic advice from somebody who cannot spell romantic or advice… or bong.
Lance: Hey. Hot sluts with tits. Rick: Lance, you don’t need to do that anymore, remember? Lance: Oh yeah. Sorry. Old habits die hard. Oh what the hell - I LOVE MEN. Who wants me? Rick: Well you don’t need to do that either…
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us “Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.”
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed an extremely well-dressed and exotic young woman hadn’t moved a muscle. “Perhaps you didn’t hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.”
She calmly turned her head and said, “In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.”
To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, “Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I’m called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray up, Bitch.”
oh my god he’s brilliant :’)
my jaw literally dropped. greatest. comeback. ever